Yesterday, Parker and I visited my grandmother. We brought her some persians because we are nice people.

grandma: wow. you really have gained weight.
me: …thanks. really, why would you say that?
grandma: well you have.
me: that’s not nice. you think i don’t know? just don’t say anything.
grandma: fine. oh laura, you are soooooooooooo skinny.
me: what is wrong with you? i don’t say, “oh margaret, look at those wrinkles.” why would you say anything?
grandma: because i am hoping you’ll eat less…and stop buying persians.

Ten minutes later,
grandma: you didn’t eat all of your persian. do you want some pie?

Welcome to my life. Just roll with it.