No, not because I’m pining for my good friend, Brian, with whom my sister-in-law is obsessed but because in 1998, that was the name of my favourite Backstreet Boy.

*sigh*

I am really struggling with people these days. I’ve always had trouble getting along with people but lately, it is ridiculous. With age, I have learned that some things are acceptable while others…not so much. I am finding it really difficult at school. With my four years of a human services program, never did I encounter what I have heard in the business program. It’s an incredible lack of any sensitivity, kindness and basic social skills. Today, I actually had a professor use the term “brain-dead” in discussing a failed approach to management. It’s one thing to think it but to actually say it repeatedly in front of an audience….yikes. The way different businesses are criticized without even thinking that maybe someone in class works there just blows my mind. All along, I thought these were basic skills.

Like the Sarah Palin thing..leave her alone. If you don’t like her, don’t vote for her. End of Story. (I can see the encouraging people not to vote for her strategy but to wish physical harm is disgusting.) I find that a lot of the people who talk “crap” are people who I don’t really value their political views anyway. Because really, when researching candidates, Madonna and Lindsay Lohan’s recommendations would totally seal the deal for me. She can’t wear underwear or remember to drive SOBER but she can tell you how to vote.

It’s the same with Harper. I wasn’t a fan because of his views on harm reduction among other things. No, I didn’t vote for him but a lot of people did, he “won” and that’s the way it goes. I understand the anger and disappointment but I think that if people want some sort of electoral reform, maybe they should do something about it other than change their facebook status to “Jane Smith is OMG SO PISSED ABOUT HARPER!!!!!!!!!111 PEople VoTe StUpiD.”

As a mother, it really bothers me that I live in a world where people can wish gang rape upon people they don’t know simply because they have different beliefs. The ageist/sexist/racist views that are still acceptable astound me. It bothers me that everyday people will bitch about a person because they don’t like their shoes or hair (and i’m talking thirty year old women, not teenagers.) It bothers me that you can’t tell a person what party you support without them telling you the many reasons why you are “wrong.” Just once, wouldn’t it be nice for someone to say, “You know I don’t really agree with you, but I’d like to know why you are voting that way?”

I try to teach my son how everyone has an opinion and even if you don’t agree with it, respect it. I teach him daily not to be rude and to treat others as he would like to be treated. It’s a real shame that he’s going to grow up and realize that the world doesn’t work that way AT ALL. It’s sad.

*Recently, I returned to the land of higher learning. This time, I am going to the college taking Human Resource Management.

*pauses for the Internet to think about this for a second and shout, “WHAT?!?!*

Yeah…I don’t know either.

I know what she is talking about. Other people may just be wondering why an 80 year old woman is slapping her ass in the local Chinese restaurant.

Parker had his first day of senior kindergarten on Tuesday.* The knockout pictured above is me circa SK (ummm…1984).

When I found out who was teaching Parker this year, I immediately recognized the name and wondered if it was the same teacher who taught me twice in elementary school. When I met her, I thought, “No way. She looks too young to have been teaching 25 years ago.” She asked me if she knew me from somewhere and I brushed her off, saying that she probably saw me last year when I walked by her classroom every day. (Yes, I am pretty smooth.)

Today, when we discussing my son’s exceptionalities, she said she figured out who I reminded her of……

a student named Laura _______ she taught years ago.

Of course I was as charming** as ever when I explained how I didn’t think she was that old because heck, I am old. I have blocked out most of my childhood memories but I do remember liking her and that she was my teacher the year that I puked on the school bus. My mother didn’t believe that I was sick and sent me to school anyway. I threw up all over my Popples backpack. I also remember she showed the class a $100 bill one day and everyone thought she was rich.

She went on to say that I have a beautiful son (which I do) and that she remembers me being very shy in elementary school. When she says “shy”, what she really means is that I didn’t speak until the 10th grade and I cried all the time. I guess some things never change.

She also said that I look the same in the face. If so, Internet, please pray for me.

* I cried on Parker’s first day of school again. What age will Parker have to be for me to quit crying? 30? We bumped into Parker’s JK teacher and she said how tall Parker was, how he’s growing up and that she is proud of him. Of course that got me blubbering and she told me not to cry just like last year. He is my baby (even though he will be 5 in a few months) and I am just so proud and that makes me emotional. At least I didn’t leave the school in tears and the teacher didn’t have to console me because that’s embarrassing; I know that from last year. Things are looking up.

** I am really trying hard not to use the r-word anymore. I am failing miserably. I also laughed really hard at Tropic Thunder. I am going straight to hell.

I love

first days of school
throat spray
pro-activ oil free moisturizer
MALL OF AMERICA
brand new king size beds
90210: old and new
pumpkin pie or cheesecake
lululemon headbands that actually fit my noggin
people when they are kind
raisin bread and cheese slices

I miss
crushes and butterflies and general excitement
summer holidays (darn school)
my family and friends who don’t live in thunder bay
real slurpees from 7eleven
the olympics
being young and carefree

I will keep
on truckin’
writing to keep me sane
commenting on random stranger blogs
counting the days until my next vacation
going to school even though i might hate it already
the cats..what was i thinking?

You’ve really done it this time. I am angry. You just had to piss on my pink lululemon hoodie, didn’t you?

I left for a few days. You had two clean litterboxes and more than enough food and water. You never want anything to do with me when I am home and then you pull this passive aggressive, “laura is gone so i am going to piss on her favourite shirt” nonsense. That’s my favourite shirt, bitches. This means war.

Skittles, I am assuming it was you. I am still angry about last week when I had just finished cleaning your litterbox and was putting clothes into the dryer when i turned around and watched you urinate on my freshly laundered clothes. You’re such a pussy, acting all tough and peeing in front of me and then run away like a wimp. Screw off.

Then again, It could be you, Syd. I still remember the time that I left the dryer door open and you peed on my clothes. For weeks, whatever I put in the dryer would smell like piss. It’s bad enough I was a single mom with limited social skills, but you had to make me smell like cat pee. It’s a wonder I ever found a man.

Parker loves you guys. I love you and I think Kevin is starting to love you despite his eagerness to shoot the both of you. You are my girls but if anyone pees on anything of mine one more time, I AM GOING TO THROW YOU IN THE RIVER*

love and kisses,
laura

*When I imply that I am going to drown my cats in the river, I mean I will be very angry… and then I soak and wash the affected/pissed on item in hot water multiple times, spray with febreeze and hope for the best. Oh, and of course I will unleash said anger onto the internet because that is the number way to win the war on cat piss.

**EDIT: So in the retelling of the cat pee story, Parker overhead me say, “I was so mad that I wrote the cats a letter.” He repeated it multiple times while laughing and I am willing to bet that he tells his father, teacher and random strangers about what his mother has done this time.

Utterz cut me off and I was just getting started. I came across this site tonight and it reminded me of when sarah and I used to audioblog on our adventures. Thus, I was inspired to sing some reebs (her pet name from…me) for everyone. I will try again because obviously, this is very important. Clean the house, pack a suitcase, register for school..that can wait. I need to sing some Reba for the six people who read my online diary.

Seriously though, I have loved Reba McEntire since I was a kid. In high school, I watched a ton of CMT and her videos were always awesome. My alltime favourite was her duet, “The Heart Won’t Lie”, with Vince Gill. My heart smiles when they are touching hands over a pane of glass. Fifteen years later, I am still waiting for someone to reenact this moment with me. When they finally do, watch out; I will POUNCE.

“The Heart Won’t Lie” also had personal relevance when my first crush and I were seperated by the distance of two southward high schools because, you know the heart won’t lie and sometimes life gets in the way. I had the romantic notion that we would one day finally get together -perhaps at the Sacred Heart senior elementary school reunion. The fact that I never once declared my feelings to him didn’t figure into this equation.*

I could go on about Reba McEntire videos from 1993 and beyond, but I will refrain. for now. Come to think about it, I could devote an entire entry to “Is their life out there?” and reflections on my own return to higher education. (Christ, give me some ceiling fans and a pork chop and I could somehow connect it to my life.)

I also love Reba, the tv show. I own most of the series on dvd. I always loved it but after I became a single parent, I found new meaning in it. Some of my life’s challenges include a baby daddy and his new family and sometimes during the dark times, I think to myself, “What would Reba do?” It’s like WWJD but funnier with hints of bitterness and a kickass soundtrack.

Anyway, September 25: I will singing loudly into a makeshift microphone aka my fists. I will pound my chest to pump me up for the powerful parts. Reba and Kelly**, watch out.

* By “never once declaring my feelings”, I mean that once I realized that I liked him, I never spoke to him again unless he started the conversation. When he did speak, I refused to look at him and spoke in grunts. I added him to facebook recently. It only took me a year to work up to it.

** I may have neglected Ms. Clarkson in this entry and I apologize. Obviously, I love the Kelly Clarkson as well. Heck, she encouraged me to try Pro-Activ and for that my uncomplicated acne and I are eternally grateful.

currently, i am in red deer, alberta a good 2200km from home.

Turn them on, turn them on
Turn on those sad songs
When all hope is gone
Why don’t you tune in and turn them on?

…and so I did.