futurecatlady.net

Some of you may have noticed the “30 for 30″ page. It has been updated with a list of thirty goals for me to reach before my 30th birthday. They will be crossed out once accomplished.

It should be interesting as I don’t do well with resolutions. My 2008 new year’s resolution was to watch the six seasons of Sex and the City on dvd before the movie was released. Talk about aiming for the stars.

It turns out that sitting on my arse, watching television, was far too challenging. I’m only about three episodes into the FIRST season.

Wish me luck on this endeavor. I turn 29 next month so I have a little over a year to make it happen.

Dear Internet,

Yes, I am alive and I know that I haven’t blogged (publicly) in forever. I have private posts that i will make public one of these days.* In life, I go through spurts of either wanting to share everything with the world or keeping everything private. There is no middle ground.

So Internet, I know you are dying to know what I have been up to since June 2007. (Yikes, I should have waited another month to make it a whole year but today is a beautiful, sunny, spring afternoon which is apparently the perfect time to sit indoors and update your website.)

My parkerpoo is a whopping 4.4 years old now. After much debate and rumination, I sent my typical December boy to JK last fall which has been interesting. The first week, I was hysterical when I dropped him off and I had to be consoled by Parker’s teacher. Outside of school, he is incredibly active with all kinds of sports. Starting next week, he will be playing soccer, t-ball, basketball, and swimming lessons. He just finished indoor soccer and skating lessons. A while back, when I asked him what sports he would like to play, he said, “I want to play everything!!” Obviously, he does not get his energy and interest in athletics from his mother who bought a laptop because sitting at a computer desk was far too strenuous. I don’t think this blogging hiatus would have even taken place if I owned Dragon’s Naturally Speaking.

I am still with my charming boyfriend, Kevin. In fact, I am following in the footsteps of all those relatives before me who have shacked up before marriage. Living together is challenging. You move in with these romantic notions of greater love and intimacy and then you end up fighting over who left the lights on or who made the bad smells in the bathroom and didn’t spray. Coupled with the presence of two children and two sets of exes, there is a domestic weekly at the 379. Luckily, we haven’t killed each other yet and we are still here together excluding our separate vacations. The dork in me thinks that despite all the hard times, one day, we will be a living example of the Shania Twain song, “You’re Still the One”, complete with crashing waves and soft-core nudity.

Aside from the Parker and the Kevin, I am still employed in jobs that I don’t particularly enjoy anymore. I have tried to find other employment but failed miserably and that’s a whole different blog entry. Currently, I have baby fever and hope that an immaculate conception will take place and I can stay home, going to playgroups and making my own baby food. I am not getting younger, Internet. I sit here and can feel my eggs dying. I drown my career disappointments and lack of a baby in copious amounts of facebook and xbox 360. Look in the sidebar; i have a gamerscore some fifteen year olds would be proud of..

Well Internet, it’s been nice catching up. I have some dryer lint to put in the composter before taking my special needs companion of the day to Subway for a late lunch. Besides, “Hold On” by Jamie Walters just came on Galaxie 90s and I have some rocking out to do. Clearly, the more things change, the more they stay the same here in Lauraland.

See ya in 2009,
Laura

*Note the use of “one of these days.” Heartbreaker, dreammaker, lovetaker, I am not. No more false promises from this girl.

the judds
Originally uploaded by lauraandparker.

does anyone read this anymore? i don’t blame anyone who stopped coming. my less than sporadic updates and uninteresting content would turn me away as well. i will try harder. in the meantime, comment and say that you were here, k?

tidbits of life:

1. i am an aunt. longtime fans will remember that last spring i went to my stepbrother’s wedding in winnipeg. well, a year later, they have a baby. he was born last month and his name is colby ethan. (i am still trying to grow the balls to ask if they are closet survivor fans.) i got the birth announcement in the mail the other day and in addition to reminding me that maybe i should finally mail his gift card, i thought about parker when he was little as the new baby was wearing one of parker’s old outfits. my little man is a big t-ball playing, booyah saying, asking questions about his penis, three and a half year old. people say that the time has flown by. while i am not so sure about that, it’s neat to look back. as for colby, he comes to visit next month and that’s exciting. new babies are great especially when they aren’t yours. if they smell like poop or cry, they get to go back to their mother.

back to parker, sometimes it’s neat being a single mother. while parker sees his father on a regular basis, i am still left with some challenges. I am currently being challenged by questions about his penis. I am one of those moms who have always referred to body parts by their real names. no weewees or dingdongs in this house. however, it is funny when you hear a three year old speak about his penis. lately, i am trying to teach him how to pee standing up. we have talked about how i sit down because i don’t have a penis. i have tried to teach him how to hold it and aim. it is not going well and that is probably because i have no clue what i am doing. i heard that taking him camping will be a good time to get him to go when i tell him how big boys pee in the bush. however, today i was challenged by another penis qustion. when he woke up today, he asked, “why is my penis up?”

…..and i said, “what do you want for breakfast?”

i have no clue how to explain morning wood to a three year old. i am not sure even google can help me on this one.

2. the weather is getting warmer. friday, i had my first underwear swim of the year. saturday, i went in an outside pool. sunday, i returned to the lake where i complained of the cold and walked up to my upper thighs. (i was not brave enough to get the woman parts and the girls wet.) generally, my attire for swimming is “wearing all my clothing or almost nothing. it is actually rare that i wear a swimsuit. i am one classy broad.

with the warmer weather, i am covered in bug bites. i am confused whether i am getting bit when i am outside and there is a 14 hour window period before they become itchy or the more likely alternative, something is coming in through my windows and biting me in my sleep. regardless, afterbite is my friend. the initial pain is nothing compared to the relief it brings.

3. finally, last night i went to the northwood park church of christ’s coffee house evening. while i missed the majority of the entertainment because of the parkerpoo, i had a good time with supercool people….and there was cake. next time i will be singing. watch out for my rendition of the judds’ classic, “love can build a bridge.” people will weep when i close my eyes and hit the powerful “we can do anything..anything…keep believing in the power….” christians love the judds.* seriously though, these people are so friendly. i even got three (3!) messages this morning saying it was nice to see me!

* sadly, i am not sure whether christians like the judds. however, I like the judds. i spent most of my morning looking up screenshots from the “love can build a bridge” video. i remember they are standing on a mountain. it is one of my clearest memories from 1990. if i ever find it, i will be writing another entry. not enough people blog about the judds.

despite not having my son with me for most of mother’s day, i am having a good day. i worked this morning. i find working holidays keeps me grounded. although my life isn’t so hot sometimes, it could be worse. i could be in an abusive relationship and be living in a shelter, raising my children while battling substance abuse issues and mental illness. compared to that, my minor problems are…well, minor. it’s all about perspective.

tonight i went out at christie’s house with her family. (yes, it is still christie’s house even though she moved out a year ago and yes, i go to her family dinners when she and mike aren’t even in town.) we played outside since it finally was a little nicer out. “parker” (really, sue) made me this plaque with his handprints and a poem that almost made me cry. i received a ton of mother’s day wishes including phone calls from christie and my brother and msn messages from other friends. i even got some chicken in a biskit from america. once again, i am surrounded by awesome people in my life. i didn’t do anything with my grandma but i saw her yesterday and we have plans to celebrate mother’s day in winnipeg next weekend.

happy mother’s day to all the moms i know!

i just got home from taking my little man to the circus with sue/christie’s mom. he loved it..eventually. he cried when we first got there and wanted to stay in the lobby. he was pointing at the elephants and saying, “no..me.” which in our world means that he did not want to go on an elephant ride. i assured him that we were just watching the elephants and sitting in the seats. he cried for a minute and then was fine. he almost ate an entire hotdog and stole some of my cotton candy. near the end, he was cheering and saying, “wow” and “yay” while clapping his hands. he was even upset when it was over, saying, “more.”

we had such a good time. i had my doubts about taking him to the circus because i thought he might be too young. i also had guilt surrounding the way they treat the animals but eventually i thought, “christ. lighten up, laura. he’s two years old and it’s the circus.”

i dropped him off with baby’s daddy afterwards and he cried..alot. he wanted to go back with sue and see “papa” (what he insists on calling christie’s dad no matter how many times he is corrected.) i know that he stops crying after a minute but it breaks my heart to leave him there when he doesn’t want to go. i always say encouraging stuff like “you’ll have fun with dad” etc. and act tough and try to not be upset until after he is gone but it still sucks. i love that he loves me and i don’t doubt that he loves his father, i just wish we didn’t have to go through this just about every single visit.

anyway, that put a bit of a downer on my evening. i was supposed to go to the madhouse with the girls from work but i didn’t feel like it after that. i just talked to christie for a bit who “coincidentally” called me as soon as i got home and now i am thinking about going to bed.

i went to the madhouse last friday and felt like a huge loser in a meat market and didn’t particularly have a good time which was unfortunate because we planned to go all week. we all dressed up and brought out “the girls.” i was there two hours, saw two exes and had two drinks before throwing up in the bathroom and ending up at home in bed by 830pm. the entire week at work people referred to me as stella and made puking jokes. i love my job.

it’s really nice to have people who invite me out to do things but i just feel so old and tired by the end of the week. it’s hilarious because the people who i go out with are an average of ten years older than me. sometimes i wonder what i do that i’m so tired but when i actually sit down and look at it, i actually do quite a bit despite the crazy amount of time i spend on the internet.

night, internet. 845pm on a friday night. awesome.

dear internet, sometimes i love my life. i’ve just had another awesome weekend.

friday night, i went out with the girls from work. we went to a very expensive restaurant that i had never been to before. it was the kind of restaurant where waiters put napkins in my lap and pushed in my chair. of course, i was intimidated because i am like that. i was reminiscent of pretty woman as i got confused over the forks and nearly walked into the men’s washroom. oh well. i had caesar salad, and then a grilled tenderloin and mashed potato/carrot layered thing. for dessert, i had banana and caramal spring rolls with ice cream. the meal was quite expensive and we were there almost three hours. it also cost the equivalent of ten trips to mcdonalds. the company was awesome too. i am going to miss everyone this summer. i really hope i can come back next year. we talked about how the next time i have sex it will end up on announcements, my intoxicated alterego named stella and exchanged some “neat” stories like last time. i dressed up too since this wasn’t the sort of place i could wear sweats. sometimes it is nice to go out and get dressed up but it’s not something i would like to do all the time. i am more comfortable in pajamas, watching tv.

after dinner, i returned to pick up my parkerpoo and christie and mike were in town. we sat around and looked at each other. saturday, we also spent the day together, doing what we always do (shopping, eating, tv, and looking at each other.) i really miss them since they are in dryden. they are so good with the parker and to me so it’s unfortunate that i will die in thunder bay. parker actually said his version of his name which was incredibly exciting for all of us. he was so excited this weekend as he loves christie and uncle mike and of course, he was spoiled rotten.

sunday was a lazy sunday where i spent it hanging out with my little man and visiting my grams, taking walks and playing in the dirt. i make it a point to never work on my weekends with parker so i can spend most of my time with him. some weekends it actually works out.

hope everyone else had the awesomest weekend too!

i bought parker a fisher price dvd today. he seems to like it and has been watching it for twenty minutes. the problem is it is the most irritating thing ever..i must say the colours are bright. that’s neat.

i guess this is what i have to look forward to for the next twenty years or so…kids and their terrible music and toys :)

well this time i really haven’t written in forever..but that’s okay. i have been re-inspired through hutton and that girl who’s getting her phd in psych.

i had the baby and he is wonderful. yay parker. it’s weird how everything goes by so fast. he is already so big and it’s great. i think i am going to have more babies. they are wonderful. it’s nice because sometimes life seems to be total crap and then he’ll smile at me and i’ll forget about everything else. i can’t imagine life without him.

this is my favourite picture of him. he’s about 8 weeks old here and just starting to smile. those are my pajams. very sexy.