futurecatlady.net

Utterz cut me off and I was just getting started. I came across this site tonight and it reminded me of when sarah and I used to audioblog on our adventures. Thus, I was inspired to sing some reebs (her pet name from…me) for everyone. I will try again because obviously, this is very important. Clean the house, pack a suitcase, register for school..that can wait. I need to sing some Reba for the six people who read my online diary.

Seriously though, I have loved Reba McEntire since I was a kid. In high school, I watched a ton of CMT and her videos were always awesome. My alltime favourite was her duet, “The Heart Won’t Lie”, with Vince Gill. My heart smiles when they are touching hands over a pane of glass. Fifteen years later, I am still waiting for someone to reenact this moment with me. When they finally do, watch out; I will POUNCE.

“The Heart Won’t Lie” also had personal relevance when my first crush and I were seperated by the distance of two southward high schools because, you know the heart won’t lie and sometimes life gets in the way. I had the romantic notion that we would one day finally get together -perhaps at the Sacred Heart senior elementary school reunion. The fact that I never once declared my feelings to him didn’t figure into this equation.*

I could go on about Reba McEntire videos from 1993 and beyond, but I will refrain. for now. Come to think about it, I could devote an entire entry to “Is their life out there?” and reflections on my own return to higher education. (Christ, give me some ceiling fans and a pork chop and I could somehow connect it to my life.)

I also love Reba, the tv show. I own most of the series on dvd. I always loved it but after I became a single parent, I found new meaning in it. Some of my life’s challenges include a baby daddy and his new family and sometimes during the dark times, I think to myself, “What would Reba do?” It’s like WWJD but funnier with hints of bitterness and a kickass soundtrack.

Anyway, September 25: I will singing loudly into a makeshift microphone aka my fists. I will pound my chest to pump me up for the powerful parts. Reba and Kelly**, watch out.

* By “never once declaring my feelings”, I mean that once I realized that I liked him, I never spoke to him again unless he started the conversation. When he did speak, I refused to look at him and spoke in grunts. I added him to facebook recently. It only took me a year to work up to it.

** I may have neglected Ms. Clarkson in this entry and I apologize. Obviously, I love the Kelly Clarkson as well. Heck, she encouraged me to try Pro-Activ and for that my uncomplicated acne and I are eternally grateful.

the judds
Originally uploaded by lauraandparker.

does anyone read this anymore? i don’t blame anyone who stopped coming. my less than sporadic updates and uninteresting content would turn me away as well. i will try harder. in the meantime, comment and say that you were here, k?

tidbits of life:

1. i am an aunt. longtime fans will remember that last spring i went to my stepbrother’s wedding in winnipeg. well, a year later, they have a baby. he was born last month and his name is colby ethan. (i am still trying to grow the balls to ask if they are closet survivor fans.) i got the birth announcement in the mail the other day and in addition to reminding me that maybe i should finally mail his gift card, i thought about parker when he was little as the new baby was wearing one of parker’s old outfits. my little man is a big t-ball playing, booyah saying, asking questions about his penis, three and a half year old. people say that the time has flown by. while i am not so sure about that, it’s neat to look back. as for colby, he comes to visit next month and that’s exciting. new babies are great especially when they aren’t yours. if they smell like poop or cry, they get to go back to their mother.

back to parker, sometimes it’s neat being a single mother. while parker sees his father on a regular basis, i am still left with some challenges. I am currently being challenged by questions about his penis. I am one of those moms who have always referred to body parts by their real names. no weewees or dingdongs in this house. however, it is funny when you hear a three year old speak about his penis. lately, i am trying to teach him how to pee standing up. we have talked about how i sit down because i don’t have a penis. i have tried to teach him how to hold it and aim. it is not going well and that is probably because i have no clue what i am doing. i heard that taking him camping will be a good time to get him to go when i tell him how big boys pee in the bush. however, today i was challenged by another penis qustion. when he woke up today, he asked, “why is my penis up?”

…..and i said, “what do you want for breakfast?”

i have no clue how to explain morning wood to a three year old. i am not sure even google can help me on this one.

2. the weather is getting warmer. friday, i had my first underwear swim of the year. saturday, i went in an outside pool. sunday, i returned to the lake where i complained of the cold and walked up to my upper thighs. (i was not brave enough to get the woman parts and the girls wet.) generally, my attire for swimming is “wearing all my clothing or almost nothing. it is actually rare that i wear a swimsuit. i am one classy broad.

with the warmer weather, i am covered in bug bites. i am confused whether i am getting bit when i am outside and there is a 14 hour window period before they become itchy or the more likely alternative, something is coming in through my windows and biting me in my sleep. regardless, afterbite is my friend. the initial pain is nothing compared to the relief it brings.

3. finally, last night i went to the northwood park church of christ’s coffee house evening. while i missed the majority of the entertainment because of the parkerpoo, i had a good time with supercool people….and there was cake. next time i will be singing. watch out for my rendition of the judds’ classic, “love can build a bridge.” people will weep when i close my eyes and hit the powerful “we can do anything..anything…keep believing in the power….” christians love the judds.* seriously though, these people are so friendly. i even got three (3!) messages this morning saying it was nice to see me!

* sadly, i am not sure whether christians like the judds. however, I like the judds. i spent most of my morning looking up screenshots from the “love can build a bridge” video. i remember they are standing on a mountain. it is one of my clearest memories from 1990. if i ever find it, i will be writing another entry. not enough people blog about the judds.

so today, after being up since 6am, driving four hours back home and working an eight hour shift, you would think i would go home and go to sleep. of course i didn’t.

tonight sarah and i rocked the lake. it was a beautiful night. the stars were very pretty and the fireflies were out. i have never seen so many fireflies in my life. it was almost as if it was out of a movie. we braved the icy cold water and waded to a rock which we sat on and talked about life underneath the stars.

under the night sky, i began to think about the awesome things i have going on in my life. i have some spectacular friends who know enough not to even mention father’s day as i would bring it up when i was ready. i had a fantastic weekend vacay with friends that will never know how much they have done for parker and i. i have a delightful little man who makes me laugh and keeps me going despite the urge i have sometimes to curl up in a ball and cry. it was so peaceful that it made me forget about failed relationship after failed relationship…the things i don’t have and even, that it was father’s day.

i am happy and making the best of what i do have. i might not be the cantor in the church choir or have a great job that i “could” be doing if i only applied myself/tried harder/was better. instead i belt out the wrong words to “total eclipse of the heart” in a sentra and spend my days reminding children to not pick their nose and discussing britney spears circa 1999. i might be too neurotic for life sometimes but i still keep living. things could be better but i know they could also be worse. i am trying and doing the best that i can. that’s all i can do and i think i am finally okay with that.

on a slightly more upbeat note, i found my inner nature girl tonight and peed outside in the bush. it was dark and the porta-potty appeared to be tilted. (those things are gross, anyway.) the fireflies were so bright that we thought they were headlights and that the police were coming again and would catch me without pants on. to think, only a few weeks ago, i had to go and stood on the side of the road for a minute before saying, “i can’t do this” and opting to hold it for an hour. i am a changed woman. congrats, laura.

also, check out sarah’s version of the night. i figured i’ve talked about being naked in public and general social retardation enough lately. well, except for the peeing story, that is an accomplishment i must share with the world.

so today was the last day of school. i loved that damn school. i was only there for 6 weeks so i was totally shocked when i received gifts..i got mixed fruit, fancy iced tea, tim horton’s gift certificates and lovely cards. i was totally overwhelmed. my little punks loved their ring pops and my cookies were a hit too. tons of kids gave me hugs. i just about cried which really wasn’t that shocking. i used to always be one of those kids who cried on the last day of school…i was a sensitive one back then too. i just can’t believe people got me stuff. that is crazy.

i really liked that school and it will totally suck to be back on the supply list next year. the staff was so nice and so welcoming. i even went to their staff party on friday and it was so much fun and so much food. (shout outs to christie’s mom who babysat.) it was weird to actually be out without parker since i am either at work or with the baby so it was a nice change to have somewhat of a social life. it was kinda funny since i went with my teacher who is in her 50s while there are other eas and teachers who are closer to my age that i barely talk to..that’s me, 25 going on 80. i’m awesome. it was great fun though..they sing and everything. i even came home with the principal’s pants. when i arrived, the secretary asked me if i was a size 8. i am but was a little confused why she was asking and really didn’t want everyone to know my dress size. apparently, the principal was getting rid of some of her clothes. after much encouragement, i did try on the pants and they fit so..score one for me. they are very nice..like a blue khaki drawstring cargo. i also went home with a ton of leftovers. the best part was a coworker saying rather loudly, “hey laura, you better not eat all that food or you won’t fit into your size 8 pants!” umm yeah..how embarassing.

hopefully i can find a good school next year…or at least supply at schools where people actually speak to me. i really like being in the classroom and now i know that i would be able to teach..before i thought that i might suck but i have seen some real winner teachers and i would totally be better than them. it rather sucks that lu didn’t want me. i did get an email saying how competitive it was this year with almost 4000 applicants for only 400 spots. i am in the pool so maybe everyone will decline and they will let me in this summer :)