As a parent, I am trying to expose Parker to as many different types of books as possible. We read books he picks out which are usually Spider-man, Pokemon, or Batman. We read books where we learn a valuable life lesson (ie. The Berenstein Bears Get the Gimmies). We read non-fiction books on outer space, weather, and animals. We read classics and poetry. I hope to continue as he grows older since I have been brainwashed by Mem Fox to read to him until he is thirty.

I do not want him to turn out like me. As a youth, I read a lot of books. Unfortunately, they were either from The Babysitter’s Club, Sweet Valley High or (god help me) Fear Street. The only books I recall reading that were not part of either series are “Dear Mr. Henshaw” and “Bridge to Terabithia.” As an adult, I have opened my horizons to a) books that are funny b) books that are movies c) books people (oprah winfrey and assorted bloggers) tell me to read or d) self-help books. I don’t know if it is a personal preference or because I wasn’t exposed to it in my younger days but I find myself extremely uninterested in anything that doesn’t depict life as I know it. Science fiction, fantasy or books about any other cultures are excruciating painful for me to read. It could be because I am easily distracted but maybe not since I can still name the original members of The Babysitter’s Club (Kristy, Stacey, Claudia, Mary-Anne).

Yesterday at school, I was reading aloud from Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. Because I started reading near the conclusion of the book, I had no idea what was going on. I was actually amazed that there was a talking lion. Somehow, I have got through 28.9 years without knowing a thing about the novels (or movies.)

As a coincidence, this evening, I took one of my paying companions to see Prince Caspian. I figured it would be like all the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movies I attempted to sit through and failed miserably. I was right.

Laura’s Prince Caspian synopsis:

-cute kids on a train
-damn, this sour apple slushie tastes crappy
-hahaha talking animals
-I need to buy cat food.
-I like how Lucy ties her hair back.
-must have popcorn
-oh, little people! I must remember to pvr Joe and Kate plus Eight.
-I have to pee
-Wow, it’s like a “drag queen mermaid only no fin but a horseparts!” Neat.
-I wonder if it’s raining
-YAY! LION! It’s about time..oh! He made the trees move.
- Is this over yet?…..and now I’m crying. Why the hell am I crying? It must be because other people are crying.
THE END.

Even though I watched the entire 144 minutes of Prince Caspian, I cannot tell you what happened. However, I can tell you all about how Regina was deaf and dated Bruce but then they broke up and she started with a bad crowd and DIED after her first ever experiment with cocaine.

Screw Narnia. I’ll stick to Sweet Valley.