futurecatlady.net

I feel totally alone lately. I absolutely hate my career situation. I’ve had some stressful family situations. I am being challenged by the baby daddy and my “we would have broken up a long time ago but it’s complicated because we are living together” partner. Plus, June brings the usual birthday crisis. This year it’s somewhere along the lines of, “Holy shit. I am 29 next month and this is my life. Fuckity fuck fuck. FUCK.” My way of dealing with these problems is to not do anything but play Tetris. Trying to get three tetrises in three drops is time well spent when you should be looking for a house, job, lawyer etc.

Today, I read two stories about kids in Thunder Bay with cancer (one is 7 and one is 16). Both of these brave souls are apparently keeping positive despite their odds for survival being very low. Someone else I know was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mastectomy. She had two little kids. I would absolutely lose it if my son had cancer. Heck, I read stories about a total stranger’s son having cancer and I lose it.

I may cry myself to sleep each night, clutching a pink stuffed cat wearing a wedding dress but, it could be much worse.

Having a blog is stupid. There are much more productive things to do with your time. If I am the stupid blogger, you guys are really dumb for reading it. Of course, there are so few of you that you wouldn’t even notice that posts are missing, I stopped writing or even died because blogging is utterly meaningless and we are all wasting our time.

Since a lot of my readers are also bloggers, I’m wondering how many of you would be upset if someone got into your wordpress-admin and deleted your posts simply out of sabotage. For me, it sometimes takes an hour to write even the “stupidest” entry. To be told, “rewrite it” hurts. I’ve resisted the urge to delete a flickr photostream or the 360 hard drive because “an eye for an eye” is not bringing my entries back.

Bitterly, I am moving on. Entries and comments are gone forever. I’ve taken precautions so this will not happen again. I won’t quit blogging because quitting means someone else is going to win.

Blog on (at least until your posts are deleted)
laura

PS. I am mentioned HERE twice. Librarian Babe also commented on my blog, take a look…..oh wait. YOU CAN’T.

yup, still bitter.

i would like to know why all my new posts have disappeared.

i went to bed last night and they were there….and now they are all gone.

completely vanished.

what the hell?

…but i guess i should go to work.

…I’ve decided that this will be a ongoing post that I will keep adding to because I’m bored (obviously), lonely and disappointed I didn’t plan anything “good” for May Long.

1. I went to subway as Friday is Tuna Day. I always get my delicious sub on untoasted wheat, with cheddar cheese, tomatoes, extra cucumbers, pickles and honey mustard. I read that tuna will make me infertile because of the mercury; let’s hope not. I do limit my tuna intake to superdeal fridays just in case. Perhaps my chosen dinner isn’t as boring as the fact I look forward to my Fridays at Subway all week.

2. I was totally rocking out to “You Really Got Me” on the drive home from work tonight. This was the inspiration in googling Elvis Stoijko and trying to find his performance to that song on Youtube/anywhere. I was a huge figure skating fan in the late 90s. Isabelle Brasseur and Lloyd Eisler were my absolute faves. I named goldfish after them. Speaking of “You Really Got Me”, that song is my evil nemesis in Guitar Hero II. It blocks me from moving up to hard.

3. I have commented all over cyberspace this evening. i actually used “your superfan laura-anne.”

4. Kevin is away fishing for the weekend. (Have fun in the rain, goof) We did not leave on good terms but if we break up, at least i have a halfassed limerick:

There once was a girl who was fat
She lived with a kid and a cat
She met a nice guy
But it did not fly
and that was the end of that.

5. I am working on the template. The archives are working. The new header is coming along quite nicely. Posts are edited/added/deleted. I do this while singing, “i’m bringing blogging back…and all those ****** don’t know how to act.”

6. I’m playing Lost Via Domus again. I have reached a plateau in Tetris Evolution and Rock Band so I decided I would go back and get the few achievements I missed the first time around. I’m a little ocd about unfinished achievements. Note the gamer score.

7. OMG. OMG. OMG. I used to always read the kinky librarian and live through her adventures since I am not like her…at all. I remember once when she wrote about Brian….crap, that sounded really bad. One day, she was gone and then today, I found Librarian Babe. She’s back. Hooray. Granted she has been back for awhile and I didn’t know, but I am still pumped and reading her archives on my Saturday night. (At least, i’m not reading my own archives.)

I am always on the lookout for blogs to read since so many people seemed to have stopped blogging/vanished off the face of the…internet. Any recommendations? I like people who write about parenting..but not too much or too perfectly, because then I feel bad about myself. Other than that, anyone who is interesting in some way; i’m not picky. Bonus points are given for being open about life’s challenges and living in greater Thunder Bay.

…but no yarn. I do not do knitting blogs.

8. unconscious muttering a mere five hours after it was posted. it’s almost like i was waiting for it.

Concentration :: game which sucks
Relocated :: move.
Clot :: blood
Joints :: drugs
Satellite :: vu!
Money back :: refund
Kittens :: OMG I LOVE KITTENS!!!!!!!!!
Shady :: slim
Drain :: o…as in draino.
Stroke :: sad

I find it amazing i always think of drugs. I’ve never done drugs in my life. Let’s blame it on tv.

9. the most costly example of too much time to kill this weekend
Parker loves legos. Unfortunately, we lack “lego guys.” For each set you buy, you usually only get a few lego figures. WE NEED MORE. After searching on the net for the best deal, I finally found these bad boys. They should be ours by the end of the week. I am almost embarrassed to say how much they cost ($45) or that I will have to drive an hour and then cross the border into America to pick them up. More pictures to follow because nothing is more exciting than having thirty mini-lego guys to put inside my lego masterpieces. I might just be more excited than the parker. Like really, do you see the policeman on the atv?

I was just doing my chores when “You’re Still the One” came on galaxie 90s* and inspired me to drop what i was doing and…blog.

…because that’s important.

Mother’s Day was yesterday. I wish everyday was mother’s day. Kevin made me breakfast and played rock band with me until the Parker came home. I literally have to beg people to play rock band with me which is very sad. Parker and I hung out and we played outside. We all went to dinner with my grandma. My brother in Alberta called to say happy mother’s day. As for gifts, i got a new stereo for my mini-van which plays cds AND stuff off my ipod. It’s very exciting because I have been driving around in silence since October when my cd changer blew up. We will see how it works though; I can’t even work my ipod.

On Thursday, I attended Parker’s Mother’s Day Tea where I cried like a baby because I have severe emotional problems. Seriously though, they read “I love you forever”, they sang songs and I received a whole bag full of school-made presents. I surprised my grandma by picking her up and forcing her to attend. When I told her about it, she said, “WHAT!?! A tea for Mother’s Day? They NEVER had things like that when my kids were in school?”

I am going to upload the videos to flickr…did you know you can upload videos now? Cool beans.

*galaxie 90s is my music of choice when having a cleaning day.

1. Track :: marks
2. Snake :: webkinz
3. Assignment :: due
4. Blockbuster :: video
5. Bombastic :: shaggy
6. Adventure :: out
7. First time :: virgin
8. Aged :: old
9. Grip :: key
10. Shortcut:: lazy

I am healthy.
I am officially a soccer mom.
Mother’s Day was awesome.
The blog looks better.
Life is good.

I’m dying. You may wonder what this has to do with Bob Saget, but bear with me.

…Okay, I’m not really dying but I have been sick for a few days with some sort of “don’t know what end it’s coming out so i will sit on the toilet with a bucket” virus. I have not eaten in two days which is incredibly crazy for a big girl who loves her food. My toilet smells like lavender because I like it better than lemons. Kevin is out of town for work so I have bombarded him with msn messages and ‘expensive because he’s roaming’ cell phone calls where I simply repeat, “I’m so sick” over and over again. That is why he loves me. He actually told me he is counting his blessings that he is not home right now. Thanks, Kev. You’re cut off forever.

In my time away from the bathroom, I have been resting in bed/trying not to puke all over my laptop, and reading my archives. Damn it, I think I’m talented. While some of my entries are genuine crap; others are pretty damn funny. Even some of my angst is well-written. Good for me. *honks own horn, trucker style*

I know I am not going to set the blogging world afire with stories of my gastro-intestinal illness. I am not as gifted/famous as Dooce or nearly as hot/crazy/exciting as raymi the minx. Sadly I will never be able to quit my jobs and support the family as a professional blogger but i think my blog is great. I missed writing and I love being able to take sentimental journeys back in time via the archives. If anything, i definitely have some incentive to write more than once a year.

However, I might just be a pulling a Bob Saget (you know, circa 1990 when he would constantly laugh at his own jokes on America’s Funniest Home Videos) and you may be thinking I am another person spewing out crap. Speaking of Bob Saget, Full House was one of my favourite shows. I remember watching it in syndication at 530pm every day. I even watched it before going to a high school grad dinner/dance. That Stephanie Tanner was hilair! Those Olson twins were darlings. And Uncle Jesse…HAVE MERRRCY!

Clearly, Gravol only enhances the awesomeness. Gastrobugs to Full House….it all makes sense to me.

Dear Internet,

Yes, I am alive and I know that I haven’t blogged (publicly) in forever. I have private posts that i will make public one of these days.* In life, I go through spurts of either wanting to share everything with the world or keeping everything private. There is no middle ground.

So Internet, I know you are dying to know what I have been up to since June 2007. (Yikes, I should have waited another month to make it a whole year but today is a beautiful, sunny, spring afternoon which is apparently the perfect time to sit indoors and update your website.)

My parkerpoo is a whopping 4.4 years old now. After much debate and rumination, I sent my typical December boy to JK last fall which has been interesting. The first week, I was hysterical when I dropped him off and I had to be consoled by Parker’s teacher. Outside of school, he is incredibly active with all kinds of sports. Starting next week, he will be playing soccer, t-ball, basketball, and swimming lessons. He just finished indoor soccer and skating lessons. A while back, when I asked him what sports he would like to play, he said, “I want to play everything!!” Obviously, he does not get his energy and interest in athletics from his mother who bought a laptop because sitting at a computer desk was far too strenuous. I don’t think this blogging hiatus would have even taken place if I owned Dragon’s Naturally Speaking.

I am still with my charming boyfriend, Kevin. In fact, I am following in the footsteps of all those relatives before me who have shacked up before marriage. Living together is challenging. You move in with these romantic notions of greater love and intimacy and then you end up fighting over who left the lights on or who made the bad smells in the bathroom and didn’t spray. Coupled with the presence of two children and two sets of exes, there is a domestic weekly at the 379. Luckily, we haven’t killed each other yet and we are still here together excluding our separate vacations. The dork in me thinks that despite all the hard times, one day, we will be a living example of the Shania Twain song, “You’re Still the One”, complete with crashing waves and soft-core nudity.

Aside from the Parker and the Kevin, I am still employed in jobs that I don’t particularly enjoy anymore. I have tried to find other employment but failed miserably and that’s a whole different blog entry. Currently, I have baby fever and hope that an immaculate conception will take place and I can stay home, going to playgroups and making my own baby food. I am not getting younger, Internet. I sit here and can feel my eggs dying. I drown my career disappointments and lack of a baby in copious amounts of facebook and xbox 360. Look in the sidebar; i have a gamerscore some fifteen year olds would be proud of..

Well Internet, it’s been nice catching up. I have some dryer lint to put in the composter before taking my special needs companion of the day to Subway for a late lunch. Besides, “Hold On” by Jamie Walters just came on Galaxie 90s and I have some rocking out to do. Clearly, the more things change, the more they stay the same here in Lauraland.

See ya in 2009,
Laura

*Note the use of “one of these days.” Heartbreaker, dreammaker, lovetaker, I am not. No more false promises from this girl.