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the judds
Originally uploaded by lauraandparker.

does anyone read this anymore? i don’t blame anyone who stopped coming. my less than sporadic updates and uninteresting content would turn me away as well. i will try harder. in the meantime, comment and say that you were here, k?

tidbits of life:

1. i am an aunt. longtime fans will remember that last spring i went to my stepbrother’s wedding in winnipeg. well, a year later, they have a baby. he was born last month and his name is colby ethan. (i am still trying to grow the balls to ask if they are closet survivor fans.) i got the birth announcement in the mail the other day and in addition to reminding me that maybe i should finally mail his gift card, i thought about parker when he was little as the new baby was wearing one of parker’s old outfits. my little man is a big t-ball playing, booyah saying, asking questions about his penis, three and a half year old. people say that the time has flown by. while i am not so sure about that, it’s neat to look back. as for colby, he comes to visit next month and that’s exciting. new babies are great especially when they aren’t yours. if they smell like poop or cry, they get to go back to their mother.

back to parker, sometimes it’s neat being a single mother. while parker sees his father on a regular basis, i am still left with some challenges. I am currently being challenged by questions about his penis. I am one of those moms who have always referred to body parts by their real names. no weewees or dingdongs in this house. however, it is funny when you hear a three year old speak about his penis. lately, i am trying to teach him how to pee standing up. we have talked about how i sit down because i don’t have a penis. i have tried to teach him how to hold it and aim. it is not going well and that is probably because i have no clue what i am doing. i heard that taking him camping will be a good time to get him to go when i tell him how big boys pee in the bush. however, today i was challenged by another penis qustion. when he woke up today, he asked, “why is my penis up?”

…..and i said, “what do you want for breakfast?”

i have no clue how to explain morning wood to a three year old. i am not sure even google can help me on this one.

2. the weather is getting warmer. friday, i had my first underwear swim of the year. saturday, i went in an outside pool. sunday, i returned to the lake where i complained of the cold and walked up to my upper thighs. (i was not brave enough to get the woman parts and the girls wet.) generally, my attire for swimming is “wearing all my clothing or almost nothing. it is actually rare that i wear a swimsuit. i am one classy broad.

with the warmer weather, i am covered in bug bites. i am confused whether i am getting bit when i am outside and there is a 14 hour window period before they become itchy or the more likely alternative, something is coming in through my windows and biting me in my sleep. regardless, afterbite is my friend. the initial pain is nothing compared to the relief it brings.

3. finally, last night i went to the northwood park church of christ’s coffee house evening. while i missed the majority of the entertainment because of the parkerpoo, i had a good time with supercool people….and there was cake. next time i will be singing. watch out for my rendition of the judds’ classic, “love can build a bridge.” people will weep when i close my eyes and hit the powerful “we can do anything..anything…keep believing in the power….” christians love the judds.* seriously though, these people are so friendly. i even got three (3!) messages this morning saying it was nice to see me!

* sadly, i am not sure whether christians like the judds. however, I like the judds. i spent most of my morning looking up screenshots from the “love can build a bridge” video. i remember they are standing on a mountain. it is one of my clearest memories from 1990. if i ever find it, i will be writing another entry. not enough people blog about the judds.

Bruce Willis
Originally uploaded by lauraandparker.

My baby’s daddy, baby’s daddy’s wife and baby’s daddy’s entire extended family and I all get along these days. Life is good. However I cannot stop thinking that I have been playing Bruce Willis. Not Bruce Willis in awesome movies such as Armageddon and Look Who’s Talking, but a real life Bruce Willis. I hang out with Demi Moore (baby’s daddy) and Ashton Kutcher (baby’s daddy’s wifey) on a regular basis…at t-ball games, parent’s nights and other daycare festivities. What is supposed to be strangely awkward isn’t really awkward at all…..well, I can think of things more awkward anyway.

However, it may have been awkward earlier today when the gang (me, parker, kevin, hannah, baby’s daddy and baby’s daddy’s wife) was at the daycare year end family picnic. one of my flickr friends mentioned my bruce willis self portrait and i was left to explain myself.

I thought it was funny. Then again, I am not a guy called “Demi.”

Sadly, I enjoy quoting The Little Mermaid for the internet.

Here are some neat websites that I have been enjoying lately.

1. True Mom Confessions: It’s a group hug but more applicable to my life. It is updated all the time. It’s not at all like post secret which makes me wait a week. Live a little, check out all three. I am all about living through others these days.

2. Miked Up: I know Mike…or knew Mike back in the day. I recently found him on facebook (where the hell else?) and reconnected. I must say he is an awesome little blogger and I find myself strolling through the archives, catching up on what I have missed out on. Check him out.

3. I want a dog. I want a very little dog that is smaller than my cats. Rationally, I know that $1000 on a puppy is not a good life choice. I might not care. So far my name choices are Lola or Peanut. Parker has picked out Fergus and Bobo-bobo. I am definitely the kind of girl who will be dressing her dog up in clothes.

Assorted Dog Links:
Small Dogs Breeds, Local Dog Rescue, tbay kijiji and glamour dog.

4. Total Eclipse of the Heart video: I found this very amusing. I love this song. My favourite part is screaming out the “turn arounds” and mumbling the rest. i love this video…but it cuts off at the end. no “once upon a time there was light in my life..now there’s only love in the dark.” come on. you know what this means…laura needs to do a remake.

5. Wikipedia: Everything I learned in life, I learned from Wikipedia. If i need to know something, I check it out there. When I say “need to know”, I obviously mean the really important things in life ie. Lindsay Monroe from CSI:NY or what exactly Josee Chouinard is up to these days. My favourite Wikipedia article is Fuck Her Gently. It just cracks me up how the song is described. I doesn’t matter what it is, Wikipedia explains it like it’s some educational textbook.

6. Finally, a classic everyone should read daily, Celebrity Baby Blog. I am addicted. They have pictures of Britney Spears baby #2. It is very important that I know where Angelina buys her children’s shoes and how much they are. Is what’s-her-tits pregnant? Celeb Baby blog has it all.

Laura, get out more? What for? I lead a full and exciting life. That is obvious.