“You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.”
REALLY?!?!
Since when?
Or maybe they mean…starting right..NOW.
HA.
HA.
HA.
Yeah, that is all.
No it’s not. Seriously, I read it out loud and my grandmother laughed hysterically. The world knows my “personal affairs” have always been disastrous.
With my thirtieth birthday approaching, I thought I would see how my 30 for 30 was coming along. When I say “coming along”, I obviously mean I will attempt a mad dash to finish some of these tasks before July 27. I HAVE LOTS OF TIME!
1. Lose 30lbs. (UMMMM NO. In fact, I might have gained another 30..oops.)
2. Run like the wind…. (Sadly, no again.)
…or around Boulevard Lake without dying. (That’s about 5km for non-Thunder Bayers.) Join the Running Room. (I drive by it daily; it shouldn’t be hard to enter.) Take a class for women only. (No again.)
3. Grow some balls and lose the anxiety. Find some self-esteem. (Ha. I am the most anxious person ever. Give me your ativan.)
4. Make a new friend who is awesome. YESSSSSSSS! I have met one mom friend who is spectacular AND rekindled old friendships AND numerous online confidants.
5. Find a job that I actually enjoy.
(Halfway there, I did get a new job. I haven’t started yet since my criminal records check has not arrived yet. The people seem awesome and I might enjoy it.)
6. optical amplifierVisit my family in Saskatchewan and Alberta. I have not been there in seven years. Yes. I went last summer!
7. Catch up on Parker’s scrapbook. (I did open it last month to show him pictures from his baptism. That’s a start…right?)
8. Learn to sew something. (Still thinking about it…I really need to hem some curtains.)
9. Mail out Christmas and birthday cards ON TIME. I did mail out my Christmas cards on December 23 this year. That is awesome for me. Sadly, no one is getting birthday cards this year. Ah well. I bet I don’t get any either.
10. Get a dog. Name her Kiki. Dress her up in clothes and teach her to line dance. I have a dog named Bella. Who knew I would love Twilight so much? She cannot line dance (yet), but she does have some clothes.
11. Finish guitar hero/rock band on HARD. (I have worked really hard on this goal but I have hit a plateau on medium..suck.)
12. Read all the books that I pretended to read in high school. The list includes; The Great Gatsby, The Scarlet Letter, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Fifth Business, Pride and Prejudice, and Lord of the Flies.) Ummmm I have been reading, but not any of these books. Is it bad when you forget your goals?
13. Visit sarah the pirate in BC. Find myself and take pictures. I went last summer. Yeah.
14. Zero credit card debt. OMG. NO. WOW. NO.
15. Reduce, reuse, recycle, compost and shut off lights when I am not in the room. I am doing awesome!!!!
16. Drink water and like it. Take vitamins. (Halfway there. I will buy vitamins soon.)
17. Be the best mom I can be. Get that kiddo reading. Coach teams. Don’t miss a field trip. Dress up for Halloween. Learn to swim and skate so I do not make a fool out of myself. Love, Love, Love. (I don’t think I can ever strike this off…it’s a lifelong goal.)
18. More fun. More dancing. More board games. More singing. YES, much to the amazement of the new neighbours..
19. Design a blog layout. Update often. Get readers. (Sorry, Internet. Not at all. Once again, LOTS OF TIME.)
20. Find a church. Go to it. More on that later…
21. Let go.
22. Start a garden. Don’t kill anything.
23. Call Margaret at least every second day.
24. Think before speaking. Reduce fits. For the love of God, try to get along with people.
25. Camp. Hike. Go outdoors. Not this year yet, but last year…
26. Buy a camera and learn to take a decent picture.
27. Eat new foods. Try sushi and stirfries and tea. Cook something.
28. Submit pictures to Perez Hilton (STILL TIME.)
29. Volunteer.
30. Take more naps.
So a month to go….the finished list will be complete with pictures. Once again, I vow to blog more despite the fact it took me two weeks to make this post. Seriously, two weeks. That’s some motivation.
You know what? Song lyrics as post titles just never gets old.
The new house is fantastic. Two months later, things are finally coming together. It was like I was in this bizarre state of denial that this wasn’t a permanent move despite the fact I was shelling out $1000 for bills a month. I just finished putting up my curtains*and it’s finally feeling like a home. The other night, while on a potential date/sleepover, I opted to come “home” instead so I must like it here. Yay! It’s funny because whenever I start talking about the house, Feist’s Mushaboom plays on in my head. I saw Feist once…did I ever blog about that? Probably not.
This new neighbourhood is home to either the most friendly or the most nosey people I have ever met. I have literally met everyone on “the place.” I have people who cut the grass and shovel the snow, potential babysitters and dogwalkers and playdates. I hope they are friendly because honestly, my life is painfully boring lately so if they are nosey about me….yikes.
It’s funny because around the same time I moved in here, my hours changed for my new job and i finished college for the year. I no longer work any evenings and lack hobbies or interests to pass the time. After Parker goes to bed, I literally do nothing. I browse the internet, sometimes rent movies and have random chats on msn. I do not have tv or an xbox360 which pains me everyday. I have been told to do something productive with my time….but what!? This abundance of spare time often leads to “rumination.” I have a milestone birthday coming up and changes galore in the next few months so there are plenty of things to think about……I might actually blog more. Watch for it.
* Yeah…I didn’t have curtains for months. I have a lot of windows. I didn’t even hang up sheets….CLASSY.
i guess this is the part where i tell the world how lonely i am and how my life sucks, how i am never going near another man again because i will only up being hurt/alone/poor/miserable and instead, i will choose a life of cats because they will always love me. however, one could review the archives from 2003-2005 to see how that will go. just change the names, add 50lbs, five years, and a dog and you will get my current situation. seriously, my life is in reruns. i survive the day, i cry nightly from 9pm on but still try to convince myself i am a superfox like in “it’s called a breakup because it’s broken”.
i have heard that if i plant some positivity things can grow. so it’s worth a shot…
positive stuff:
i kinda like it in my brand new place (alright, i will stop it with the jewel lyrics)
i got accepted into the one year b.ed program. next year at this time, i can be a teacher.
i got a perm. i like it.
parker is coming along with his sight words…that’s some progress.
the snow is finally gone. i know, it’s nearly may, but i live in thunder bay and it snowed last week.
i finished college. i can write my chrp exam sometime in the next ten years.
i’ve been sharing my all-time favourite movies with parker. so far we’ve watched beauty and beast, anastasia and annie.
i can blog all i want. i can tell the internet EVERYTHING.
Let’s face it. Lots of things go wrong in life. Some people have it really bad and others have it semi-bad. My grandmother has always taught me that no matter how bad things are, someone out there always has it worse. It amazes me that as someone who gravitates to the negative side of the spectrum, I am more positive than most people lately. And really, that’s sad because I am a huge whiner.
I am really struggling with people these days. I’ve always had trouble getting along with people but lately, it is ridiculous. With age, I have learned that some things are acceptable while others…not so much. I am finding it really difficult at school. With my four years of a human services program, never did I encounter what I have heard in the business program. It’s an incredible lack of any sensitivity, kindness and basic social skills. Today, I actually had a professor use the term “brain-dead” in discussing a failed approach to management. It’s one thing to think it but to actually say it repeatedly in front of an audience….yikes. The way different businesses are criticized without even thinking that maybe someone in class works there just blows my mind. All along, I thought these were basic skills.
Like the Sarah Palin thing..leave her alone. If you don’t like her, don’t vote for her. End of Story. (I can see the encouraging people not to vote for her strategy but to wish physical harm is disgusting.) I find that a lot of the people who talk “crap” are people who I don’t really value their political views anyway. Because really, when researching candidates, Madonna and Lindsay Lohan’s recommendations would totally seal the deal for me. She can’t wear underwear or remember to drive SOBER but she can tell you how to vote.
It’s the same with Harper. I wasn’t a fan because of his views on harm reduction among other things. No, I didn’t vote for him but a lot of people did, he “won” and that’s the way it goes. I understand the anger and disappointment but I think that if people want some sort of electoral reform, maybe they should do something about it other than change their facebook status to “Jane Smith is OMG SO PISSED ABOUT HARPER!!!!!!!!!111 PEople VoTe StUpiD.”
As a mother, it really bothers me that I live in a world where people can wish gang rape upon people they don’t know simply because they have different beliefs. The ageist/sexist/racist views that are still acceptable astound me. It bothers me that everyday people will bitch about a person because they don’t like their shoes or hair (and i’m talking thirty year old women, not teenagers.) It bothers me that you can’t tell a person what party you support without them telling you the many reasons why you are “wrong.” Just once, wouldn’t it be nice for someone to say, “You know I don’t really agree with you, but I’d like to know why you are voting that way?”
I try to teach my son how everyone has an opinion and even if you don’t agree with it, respect it. I teach him daily not to be rude and to treat others as he would like to be treated. It’s a real shame that he’s going to grow up and realize that the world doesn’t work that way AT ALL. It’s sad.
1. Get out all the books, notes, laptop, power cord and healthy snacks.
2….but first I need to check out facebook.
3. …and my email.
4. …and then my college email.
5. …anything going on on perez hilton? what about canoe? or eonline?
6. google reader!! What if someone blogged and I missed it?!!
7. Are my test marks up yet? I should check.
8. Oh, look. A friend is talking to me on msn.
9. Bills must be paid. I should pay them now.
10. Are there any new pictures on flickr?
11. Time to vote soon. Better check the election coverage.
12. What the hell? Let’s check the American election too.
13. Stare at a blank Word document.
14. Repeat numbers 1 through 13 for the next week until suddenly, I now have two papers due. I haven’t really started any of them and I am now experiencing major anxiety.
*Recently, I returned to the land of higher learning. This time, I am going to the college taking Human Resource Management.
*pauses for the Internet to think about this for a second and shout, “WHAT?!?!*
Yeah…I don’t know either.
Tags: higher learning
Me: So, our kingsized bed will be delivered today.
Grandma: That’s good. Is Kevin happy?
Me: Sure. I guess this means we can sleep in the same bed finally.
Grandma: silent *gives me a look*
Me: I’ve been sleeping in Hannah’s room for like the last year.
Grandma: Oh. Well if you are sleeping together, you better get some more *pats her ass*
I know what she is talking about. Other people may just be wondering why an 80 year old woman is slapping her ass in the local Chinese restaurant.
another school picture, another mullet.
Originally uploaded by lauraandparker.
Parker had his first day of senior kindergarten on Tuesday.* The knockout pictured above is me circa SK (ummm…1984).
When I found out who was teaching Parker this year, I immediately recognized the name and wondered if it was the same teacher who taught me twice in elementary school. When I met her, I thought, “No way. She looks too young to have been teaching 25 years ago.” She asked me if she knew me from somewhere and I brushed her off, saying that she probably saw me last year when I walked by her classroom every day. (Yes, I am pretty smooth.)
Today, when we discussing my son’s exceptionalities, she said she figured out who I reminded her of……
a student named Laura _______ she taught years ago.
Of course I was as charming** as ever when I explained how I didn’t think she was that old because heck, I am old. I have blocked out most of my childhood memories but I do remember liking her and that she was my teacher the year that I puked on the school bus. My mother didn’t believe that I was sick and sent me to school anyway. I threw up all over my Popples backpack. I also remember she showed the class a $100 bill one day and everyone thought she was rich.
She went on to say that I have a beautiful son (which I do) and that she remembers me being very shy in elementary school. When she says “shy”, what she really means is that I didn’t speak until the 10th grade and I cried all the time. I guess some things never change.
She also said that I look the same in the face. If so, Internet, please pray for me.
* I cried on Parker’s first day of school again. What age will Parker have to be for me to quit crying? 30? We bumped into Parker’s JK teacher and she said how tall Parker was, how he’s growing up and that she is proud of him. Of course that got me blubbering and she told me not to cry just like last year. He is my baby (even though he will be 5 in a few months) and I am just so proud and that makes me emotional. At least I didn’t leave the school in tears and the teacher didn’t have to console me because that’s embarrassing; I know that from last year. Things are looking up.
** I am really trying hard not to use the r-word anymore. I am failing miserably. I also laughed really hard at Tropic Thunder. I am going straight to hell.
I could be studying. Or reading. Or sleeping.
I love
first days of school
throat spray
pro-activ oil free moisturizer
MALL OF AMERICA
brand new king size beds
90210: old and new
pumpkin pie or cheesecake
lululemon headbands that actually fit my noggin
people when they are kind
raisin bread and cheese slices
I miss
crushes and butterflies and general excitement
summer holidays (darn school)
my family and friends who don’t live in thunder bay
real slurpees from 7eleven
the olympics
being young and carefree
I will keep
on truckin’
writing to keep me sane
commenting on random stranger blogs
counting the days until my next vacation
going to school even though i might hate it already
the cats..what was i thinking?
Dear Sydney and Skittles,
You’ve really done it this time. I am angry. You just had to piss on my pink lululemon hoodie, didn’t you?
I left for a few days. You had two clean litterboxes and more than enough food and water. You never want anything to do with me when I am home and then you pull this passive aggressive, “laura is gone so i am going to piss on her favourite shirt” nonsense. That’s my favourite shirt, bitches. This means war.
Skittles, I am assuming it was you. I am still angry about last week when I had just finished cleaning your litterbox and was putting clothes into the dryer when i turned around and watched you urinate on my freshly laundered clothes. You’re such a pussy, acting all tough and peeing in front of me and then run away like a wimp. Screw off.
Then again, It could be you, Syd. I still remember the time that I left the dryer door open and you peed on my clothes. For weeks, whatever I put in the dryer would smell like piss. It’s bad enough I was a single mom with limited social skills, but you had to make me smell like cat pee. It’s a wonder I ever found a man.
Parker loves you guys. I love you and I think Kevin is starting to love you despite his eagerness to shoot the both of you. You are my girls but if anyone pees on anything of mine one more time, I AM GOING TO THROW YOU IN THE RIVER*
love and kisses,
laura
*When I imply that I am going to drown my cats in the river, I mean I will be very angry… and then I soak and wash the affected/pissed on item in hot water multiple times, spray with febreeze and hope for the best. Oh, and of course I will unleash said anger onto the internet because that is the number way to win the war on cat piss.
**EDIT: So in the retelling of the cat pee story, Parker overhead me say, “I was so mad that I wrote the cats a letter.” He repeated it multiple times while laughing and I am willing to bet that he tells his father, teacher and random strangers about what his mother has done this time.
Tags: cats